PHUKET, THAILAND

sebagaimana telah di ripoff dari sini

I’m not here.

Well, at least my body’s here. My heart and mind very much still left in Phuket.

Day 1 - Blue Ocean, The Fantasea & Bangla Road

Flight at 3.20pm. Arrived in Phuket airport 1hour 15mins later. Terus cari driver teksi to send us to the hotel - Blue Ocean Hotel, which I booked prior to that. Checked in, the hotel’s nice-for budget traveller like us. The shower is made of stones and the water runn like a waterfall. Freshen up a bit and terus cari tickets for Phuket Fantasea Show for tonight and island hopping the next day.

On the way to the Fantasea (around 1/2 hour from hotel) we made friends with the mat salleh couple from Germany. Pastu bumped pulak into a honeymooner from Malaysia yang kitorang jumpa dlm flight tadi. Fantasea memang best sangat but too bad we have to leave the camera and handphones outside the theater. Show started at 8.30pm (9.30pm time Malaysia - so we’re sleepy already) dengan grandeur entrance dari belakang by gajah2 and the performers. There were wayang kulit, clowns, dancing, reenectment of their famous cerita rakyat, trapeze and gajah show=at least 15 of them on stage. Cute! Cuak gakla pasal kitorang duduk front row, so kalau gajah2 tu amuk mmg kitorang yang kene dulu!

After that we went back to the hotel, had a nice dinner at Cairo Restaurant and jalan2 kat Bangla Road. Halal food was not easy to find, cuma mahal sikit. Jalan2 kat Bangla Road, tengok2 club from outside (don’t dare to go in) and snapped pic. Happening gile tempat tu. Never in my life I’ve seen so many tourists gathered in one place at one time (except for concert la kan?). Prosti**tes memang bersepah tepi jalan tu and diorang terus grab the mat sallehs whenever they pass through. Heaven on earth for guys, I must say. Lepas tu pulak the clubs apply open concept, so we can actually enjoy the show without having to pay and go in. Girls dancing on the pole (thank God they put on some cloth) are the normal scenario along this road. Got back, very tired and we settled around 3am in the morning.

• Hotel: RM200 per pax for 3 nights
• Cab to hotel:RM55 for a cab
• Fantasea show:RM150 per pax
• Dinner : RM30 per pax

Day 2 - The Islands Escapade

We got a knock at our hotel - the driver is already here! Kelam kabut siap2 and bring our gears for island hopping and snorkeling (read: sunglasses, cap, sunblock). Dropped us at Chalong Bay - tempat naik feri to go to the islands. They give us sticker for boat number and also for the teksi when we got back from the island. Very organized I must say. The trip to Phi Phi Island was bit bumpy but memang best sangat rasa mcm naik rollercoaster - the journey was about one hour. We made few friends in the boat: Akhie from Germany, Michael from Denmark, the over-friendly boat navigator and few other Bangkok people. Paling kelakar mamat Bangkok ni tidur time boat tgh laju, then when boat corner die tergolek dog kat lantai tu. Semua orang dok bantai gelak je. I pun jatuh gak time tengah dok gelak2, tapi nasib baik jatuh atas mamat Aussie ni, tapi of course girlfriend dia siap jeling2 la kan.. Arrived at Phi Phi Bay, very2222 nice place. Air jernih sangat, the sand is very beautiful and paling best psl the location of the place psl die teluk (bay) kan? Then move sikit je, snorkel for about 1/2hour at Phi Phi Don. Next stop, Phi Phi Island - lunch and tengok2 org jual barang. The pearls mmg murah but we didn’t buy any.

Continue ke Monkey Bay, Bat Island and Khai Island. Khai means telur in Thai language. Small island, shaped like an egg. We settled under the beach chair and umbrella which cost us RM20 for it. Ct dozed off on the beach chair under the hot sun while Liza, Shahnaz and I went snorkeling. Water very clear shallow and lots of fishes but the bottom banyak dengan batu sampai kitorang luka2. Dlm 1 jam stgh boat leave the island and made our way home. Sunburn is a must - but these 3 girls they reapply the sunblock over and over again. I only applied once - mls nak layan. Hehe. Dalam boat tadi kitorang siap bergaduh dengan a group of Aussie yang berebut tempat dalam boat padahal kitorang dah cop dulu. What such snobs!

Once sampai hotel, me and Ct straight dived into the pool - never can get enough of the water. We met Brad Pitt/Beckham lookalike from Norway with his kid, Siemen and niece and nephew: Amylea and Christopher. Play with them in the pool. Later went to the the massage parlour right in front of our hotel. Kitorang buat Thai massage, foot massage, manicure and pedicure. We even made friends with the masseurs. Lepas tu we strolled along the road, had our dinner again at the same restaurant (too tired to walk further) - made friend with the owner and his employees who are very patient entertaining our needs, shisha tryout, Bangla Road revisit and stopped at one of the club for rounds of pool. Plan asal nak tengok Muay Thai (Thai boxing) sebab ada game tonight tapi tak jadi pasal harga RM150 per entry.

Owh, forgot to mention that Ct and Akhie - the Germany guy, totally hitting on each other! While I had my crush on of the Kuwait guy which we met in the restaurant where we had our dinner - but no phone numbers were exchange- sigh.. While the taxi driver; Mr Poo memang best sangat. Again, went to bed when the clock striked 3.

• Island tour : RM125 per pax
• Massage: RM60 per apx
• Dinner: RM25 per pax

Day 3 - Phuket Explorace

We took our own sweet time, but (I) still bangun awal jugak. Had our breakfast (bread and sambal ikan bilis made by Ct’s mum - sinfully delicious!). Bersiap then jalan kaki konon2 ingat nak cari tempat untuk sewa motor. But we have to leave one of the passport with the owner, so we decided to rent the car (with a driver) instead. The name’s Prapatsorn Jitiang (Sorn), very nice and funny man yang lepas tu terus jadi best friend dengan dia.

First stop: View Point, where we can see the whole Phuket from uphill. Sorn tetibe jadi kitorang punya official photographer. Then he brought us to elephant riding and snake zoo but we decided not to go in pasal mahal and since we were on tight budget. Went to Kinnaree House where they sell Thai Silk and sovenirs, Cashewnut factory, Chalong Temple and Wang Talang -jewelry factory. Time dekat temple tu ada sorang Korean ni minat sangat dengan kitorang (especially Shahnaz) and sibuk dok snap gmbr kitorang. Yang kelakar tu die suruh Ct tangkapkan gmbar dia dengan Shahnaz padahal die boleh je suruh oranglain yang tangkapkan. Funny. Minum air kelapa sambil bersantai tepi temple. Then went to the only Pewter Centre in Phuket, and bought a thing or two.

Then Sorn dropped us at the Patong Beach Road and we went free and easy after that. We gave him a RM20 tip psl die mmg baik sangat and enjoy sangat lepak dengan dia. Bought sovenirs, had dinner at Ali Baba Restaurant and went to Jungceylon (the shopping mall) dekat je dengan hotel. Lepak2 kat Starbucks and terjumpa pulak dengan mamat Kuwait tu lagi skali. I siap pass notes to him using Starbucks’ tissue paper (thanks to Liza the messenger) tapi dia just smiled and waved back at me. Cet! So we conclude that die dah ada girlfriend back in Kuwait. Hehe. Ingatkan nak dare Shahnaz buat something tapi tak sampai hati sangat (note: Shahnaz yang paling baik skali antara kitorang semua, saje je nak kenakan dia). Balik je hotel trus mandi2 and siap2 nak pegi massage for one last time. After massage, we ended up borak2 sampai 6.30am! Title for that night is “How to fix Shahnaz’s love life”. Hehe.

• Car rent:RM30 per pax (including tip)
• Coconut drink :RM2 per coconut
• Dinner:RM30 per pax
• 2 cups of Starbucks venti: RM30
• Massage: RM25 per pax

Day 4 - Every good thing has an end

Morning, me and Ct dived into the pool soonest we woke up. Say goodbye to Beckham/Brad Pitt who checked out today. Shahnaz and Liza joined us in the pool a while later. Borak2 dengan our poolboy - Aek and feed him with Ct’s famous sambal ikan bilis. Then terus kemas2 barang and ready for checkout. Before that Liza prepare maggi untuk isi perut before sampai Malaysia. Our driver, Awang (a Siamese who works in Bali and luxury cruise, very fluent in BM) is very helpful and nice. He dropped us at world’s biggest jewelry store on our way home. Arrived in airport, flight delayed for about 40mins and made our way back to Malaysia with a plane full of tourists that I believe heading for F1 this weekend. At the airport borak dengan couple dari US yang dtg Malaysia sebab nak attend wedding daughter dia yang got married dengan a Malaysian guy. Cool huh?

Dalam flight main card dengan Ct and sedar2 dah sampai Malaysia. Arrived in airport. Shahnaz’s parent already waited for us. Kitorang steer our way and pergi Bagan Lalang makan seafood psl kat Phuket rasa mcm tk cukup makan je..

• Cab to airport:RM50 per cab
• Bagan Lalang seafood:RM220

These are what I bought throughout the trip:

• Krong Tip (Thai’s famous) cigarattes for my brother :RM9
• tshirt for my brother:RM15
• 2 Parios : RM40
• tshirt for me :RM15
• pillow covers for mum :RM30
• bookmarks: RM30
• Starbucks Phuket mug: RM25
• fan cum hat : RM10
• coin pouchs:RM30
• flip flop and cap: RM40
• pewter keychains:RM20
• skirt :RM20
• Cashewnut for mum :RM15
• Bag with beads:RM50
• Thai silk bag:RM15

Note for future Phuket traveller:

• Not to worry to much about pick-pocket coz there weren’t any! But still take care of your belongings. Very peace country - almost zero crime rate, according to the taxi drivers.
• Change as much money you needed coz the exchange rate is quite low compared to Malaysia.
• For those that fear you turn dark, bring extra sunblock - sizzling hot!
• Don’t bother to bring flipflop or cap or tshirt coz u can always buy it there. Travel light.
• Bring enough food (canned food, sambal or serunding) from home coz the food’s price is high!
• Everything involves money, so make sure you bring enough (extra’s better!) cash. The items and food are rather expensive.
• Never leave your room without a bottle of mineral water. Very hot!
• Don’t easily settled for a price for any activity you wish to do (snorkel, Fantasea, Muay Thai etc). Survey few travel booths and get yourself the best deal!
• Same goes for cab. Ask few cabbies and makesure you get the lowest deal!
• Enjoy your heart out

Bye bye Phuket. Will see you again in time to come.